There are so many things that come to mind when I tell someone “I am a NICU Nurse.” Normally, I receive one of the following two responses: 1. “Wow, that must be so hard for you to work with sick babies everyday. How do you do that?” OR 2. “Oh how cute. So you just get to cuddle with babies all day, right?”
To a certain extent, these statements are somewhat true. But the reality is that neonatal nursing is SO. MUCH. MORE. Instead of giving you the make-believe, fairytale answer, I am here to let you in on the reality of neonatal nursing!
Being a NICU nurse is simultaneously the most beautiful and the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. There are heart racing moments when you’re watching vital signs plummet from across the room. There are times when you feel like you’re in a movie running in “slow motion” to save your patient from spelling. There are PTSD moments from prior codes and unplanned extubations. There are days dedicated to learning how to perform chest compressions on a mannequin and praying to God you never have to do them on a baby. Some shifts are filled with inner judgment and anger toward parents who are not interested in being parents, because you know how hard other couples are trying to conceive. There are broken hearts from babies who are just too broken for this world. There are days where you want to take home every baby whose parents don’t want them, because you know you would give them the most loving home.
There are times where you make inappropriate jokes in the break room as a coping mechanism to get you through your terrible shift. There are situations faced with internal monologue debating whether or not you should reach for that code button. There are moments where your knowledge is questioned and your patience is tested. Some days are filled with more charting than you are actually providing patient cares. Some days you turn off the radio on your drive home and sit in silence because you have gone mad from alarm fatigue. There are times where you have to suck it up and call the provider, taking that chance you might sound stupid or you might actually save your baby’s life.
There are days filled with chasing alarms and tending to monitors nonstop. There are days where you spend your entire shift educating your student nurse and feel guilty for wanting them to just go home already. There are instances where you feel so overwhelmed and literally freeze in your tracks because you don’t know what to do. There are days where your brain is tired and exhausted and hurts from being bombarded with so much information. There are days where you sit down with parents for hours on end and take the time to answer every single one of their questions, even though you probably don’t have a second to spare. There are days filled with disappointment and sadness in their eyes when you just don’t have all the answers.
However, there is also JOY! There is so much joy when your baby finishes his entire bottle for the first time. There are so many happy tears when your baby is weaned off oxygen. There is indescribable happiness when you get to see your NICU graduates at the preemie reunion picnics. There is so much bliss when you receive emails and pictures and updates of babies you spent hours tirelessly caring for. And you feel comfort knowing that they are thriving and growing in a home that loves them beyond words can describe. There is so much gratification knowing that you’ve touched so many lives and families and played a part in “saving” their miracle baby.
That, my friends, is what it’s like to be a NICU nurse. That is the truth.